A Little Mommy Introspection! And a Very Merry Christmas!!

Since the moment my beautiful baby boy was placed in my arms, I feel like I have been under constant pressure to be sure and not only enjoy every moment of his (and later his sister's) life but to capture it via picture, video, and keepsake.

It's a work of love, with bittersweet moments, folding and boxing those sweet little onesies, moving from those tiny newborn diapers to the next and the next size, watching that sweet toothless smile transform into a toothy grin!

And at every stage I remember thinking THIS is my favorite stage, look how cute and beautiful my babies are, I'm going to miss this stage when it's gone...

Of course there are moments I can't wait to be over as well, tantrums and arguments and general contrariness etc.

But those things are easy to forget when I'm rocking my daughter in the chair in her room, as she snuggles into my shoulder and whispers "momma", or when she looks at me and says "I yuv YOU!"

Or when Noah pushes me right to the edge of frustration and then says "Mom?"..."I love you always!"

I have moments when I think about those vague but intimidating teenage years to come when I love yous might be the exception instead of the norm, and those arguments and tantrums may be more prevalent than ever.  When my kids won't want to hang out with me the way they do now and there won't be anymore quiet moments in the rocking chair.  sniff.

But the thing is, I have done a pretty good job documenting all of those special moments, and so far I haven't taken a lot of time to go back through them...

I love that I have them captured at each stage and I know I will appreciate them more as the kids continue to grow, but as much as I love to look back at those tiny baby faces and remember those sweet moments, they don't make me feel a sense of loss the way I thought they might, they don't give me that sad feeling of time gone.

The fact is, I love each stage we come to, and Noah and Gianna are both very different individuals from who they were in those pictures and videos.  I love who they are and while I can appreciate and enjoy those memories, they don't hold me because I am so wrapped up in who they are today.

 

I'm not sure whether this is a universal truth or just a me truth, but I thought I'd share it.

Merry Christmas!

 

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